Happiness

I had been working on a big long post with lots to say. It was in depth and maybe even a little interesting. But that doesn't matter. All that needs to be said is this,

God will be there to take care of you when you need him.

A week in the life

So I only took one real vacation in 09, which sucks and vow to take more next year. So my vacation this year consisted of going to Busch Gardens and then spending a week at the Outer Banks in North Carolina.

This is was my first time at Busch Gardens and it was awesome. I love roller coasters and Busch Gardens has some good ones. I got a little sick near the end of the day from dehydration but still has a good time.

Next day we drove down to the OBX and the house we were staying at. Spent the week walking along the beach, doing some reading (although not enough reading). I went and saw Terminator Salvation that week. To be honest I'm not completely sure how I passed most of my time that week. I rode a bike for the first time in many many years. I watched the Cleveland Cavs get knocked out the playoffs, which was exciting because I can't stand Lebron James.

I remember the drive home because I drove my brothers car and had to pee so badly I was near the brink of tears when we finally stopped.

It was a good week.

The beach

See, I did ride a bike.

My family at Busch Gardens

I Celebrate the Day

I wouldn't go so far to say it's my favorite Christmas song but it's the one that has the most meaning to me. It's "I Celebrate the Day" by Relient K. I can't sing this song without getting choked up.

"With this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know
How much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me
In the exact same place as New Year's Eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less that half as close as I want to be


And the first time that You opened Your eyes
Did you realize that You would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever?

And so this Christmas I'll compare
The things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back
And think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that
What You did
That You were born so I might really live
To look back
And think that
This baby would one day save me


And I,
I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day
Pray for you to save my life"

Last Minutes with ODEN

Last Minutes with ODEN from phos pictures on Vimeo.

More Dead Than Alive (Get Away from the Medicine)

I recently finished reading Donald Miller's Through Painted Deserts. There's a statement at the end of the book that I really like and it fits with my current state of spiritual thought. He said;

"You feel like life is always leading up to something, but it isn't. I mean life is just life. It's all happening right now, and we aren't going to be any more complete a month from now than we are now. I only say this because I am trying to appreciate everything tonight."

I feel like the idea of perfection is a false christian dream that is instilled in us and some of us torture ourselves for years trying to be who God wants us to be and worrying about all the stars lining up and we miss out on life. And missing out on life sucks. I know I've wasted too much time trying to get my life in order and honestly, my life isn't in order and I don't think it will ever fully be in order and I don't think God wants my life to be in order. because when things start to line up and life seems to be taking shape nicely I put God on the back burner and that's a terrible place to put God.

I had a goal this year to do just do more stuff and to live life and you know what, I failed. I spent a lot of time worrying about things and not doing anything to change them. I spent too much time trying to make sure my relationship worked instead of just enjoy it and enjoy her being my girlfriend. I spent too much time bitching about my job and half-heartedly finding finding a new one instead of just enjoying the moments that were good or moving on and trusting God to take of me. I spent too much time thinking about how poor my relationship with God was instead of just being in relationship with him.

Things in life don't have to be perfect for life to be good and enjoy. My life doesn't have to be figured out for me to be happy. I wish I lived that way. I don't.

Mark Batterson always says "Your focus determines your reality." I love that statement. I have it posted on my computers, at work and home. I'm trying to hold onto that.

My life isn't nearly as bad as I think it is. Life is actually pretty good. And even though I'm far from perfect and far from where I know God would like me to be I know he can still use me.

Life is a story. Life is journey. Life is meant to be lived.

Thundersnow 09 Pictures

I just need to figure out... Thundersnow continues

And the snow continues to fall here in our nations capital and the surrounding areas. It's kind of nuts. The car parked next to mine might not get out until June. It's crazy outside. I haven't left the comfort of my house today (unless you count the brief trip onto the balcony to take a picture).

I've been extremely lazy today. I ran this morning but we won't count that. I've sat on my couch and watched season 2 of How I Met Your Mother. An enjoyable show. If you've never seen the show but are planning to check it out you should stop reading because I'm about to drop a spoiler.

So season 2 picks up where season 1 left off. Where Lily breaks up with marshall (and even though I saw it coming, I felt extremely bad for poor Marshall when I got to the end of season 1). But in season 2 before she leaves she drops this line;

"I just need to figure out who I am outside of us and I can't do that while I'm with you."

Ok, that's not a direct quote but it gets the point across of what transpired in that scene and it's basically what she said.

Anyway, the point being it was a flash of deja vu. That was the reason for my break up a little over a month ago. Again, I felt terrible for poor Marshall. It sucked. Those words come back and hurt. It sucks. Anyway, things work out much better for Lily and Marshall then they have for me (they get back together and are getting married. I haven't finished the season yet).

I need my own Lily...

Snow Day!

It's snowing. I love watching the snow fall. Just looking out the window and watching the world around become white. Watching neighbors try to dig their way out. A Major snowfall the last weekend before Christmas seems like a bit of an inconvenience but it's still nice to have this much snow with the possibility that there could still be some snow on the ground on Christmas morning (and the snow at my parents house doesn't melt like it should so this could happen).

I'm not sure there's anything more calming and beautiful then watching snow fall. I love it.

River

You ever here a song and ignore it's lyrical content because the beauty of the song captures you and you find yourself just enjoying the song.

So Rosie Thomas does a cover of River on her christmas album. It's gorgeous. Just a beautiful song on a great album. I love the song. I love listening to the song.

Sixpence None the Richer also has a version of the song on their x-mas album and.. I'm not really a fan. The arrangement isn't as nice and pleasing to my ears. But listening to their version in the car this afternoon, I got to listen to the words and it's sad. The song made me sad.

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on

But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby cry

He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on

I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I made my baby say goodbye

River - Rosie Thomas

River - Sixpence None The Rich...

Morning thoughts

So I had a dream last night where I was in my mid 50's and was all alone. No wife, no kids. Just me. It was very sad.

It gets me thinking. God said in Genesis that it's not good for man to be alone and brought Eve to Adam and from their we have the ideal of marriage and relationship and all that fine wine.

But I think people of the bible believing faith tend to forget is Paul's word to the fine folks at Corinth. You know, the part where he says it'd be better if we had more self-control and could fully commit ourselves to the cause of Christ because when we're married our time, energy, focus is split. It presents an interesting argument that is never argued or discussed. Of course Paul does say if you're horny and can't control yourself to go ahead and get married. Is the church full of super horny people?

My intent isn't to be crude or make light of things written in the bible. But it makes me think a little. And it brings up two thoughts, one of which I've had for a while and one that is new to me.

First comes my thought that Paul's letter's are awesome but they are Paul's letters and his writing and thoughts. It's the word of man inspired by God.

Secondly is the thought that maybe the idea of it not being good for man to be alone has nothing to with marriage at all. Maybe it has more to do with community and relationship with fellow believers and nothing to do with marriage at all.

Maybe...

Patton will release stuff in 2010

I started work on a song today for a split ep I'm going to put out with DJ Wiil. It's different. It moves away from the more ambient sound that Echo Broke Alone is known for and is very post-rock. It reminds me Mono, and I've been listening to Mono lately so...

The good thing with this split is I have 2 tracks already done and will be able to just add this one. I'm hoping to get the ep out for download in January. I'm also hoping to have the Echo Broke Alone full-length, My Heart to Heaven, out sometime in January or February.

Musically I'd like to work on a pop record, something along the lines of Frank Lenz, Richard Swift, Pony Express. Just put together some solid songs. I have nothing written yet but the ideas are there. I probably need to get a bigger keyboard.

I also want to release a spoken word album of me reading my poetry. Sounds exciting right?

I also want to record your band... Please?

Christmas Time is Here

Watching A Charlie Brown Christmas is a great joy of mine and something I look forward to every holiday season. I'm still surprised they even show it on ABC every year. I mean, I figured enough complaints would've been made to get it off the air. I love it but it's Scripture reading and giving the birth of Jesus as the true meaning of Christmas doesn't really fit with the modern culture of America. But I'm glad it's on, even if the bastards at ABC edited it shorter so I could watch more useless commercials. You can't win everything.

The Weight

This is probably my favorite song from Thrice's latest album Beggars.

The Weight - Thrice

There's many who'll tell you they'll give you their love,
But when they say "give" they mean "take."
They"ll hang 'round just like vultures till push comes to shove.
They'll take flight when the earth starts to shake.

Someone may say that they'll always be true,
Then slip out the door 'fore the dawn.
But I won't leave you hanging on.
Another may stay till they find someone new,
Then before you know they'll be gone.
But I won't leave you hanging on;
No, I won't be that someone.

And come what may, I won't abandon you or leave you behind
Because love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment.
And come what may, I will be standing right here by your side;
I won't run away, though the storm's getting worse and there's no end in sight.

Some talk of destiny, others of fate,
But soon they'll be saying goodbye.
But I won't leave you high and dry.
Because a ring don't mean nothing
If you can't haul the weight,
And some of them won't even try,
But I won't leave you high and dry;
I won't leave you wondering why.

And storms will surely come,
But true love is a choice you must make
And you're the one that I have set my heart to choose.
As long as I live, I swear I'll see this through.

Saturday night is nice

I did venture out of the house. Went to church. Good stuff.

Watching the Capitals take it to the Philadelphia Flyers. 7-1 and the third period just started. About to flip it over to Ultimate Fighter finale. Love some UFC. I hope there's some good fights tonight.

Here's to a good night. I'm going to enjoy hockey, mma, and some eggnog and rum.

Snow is Falling

The first snowfall of the season is happening right now. Only a couple inches and the it seems like main road driving conditions seem fine but to be able to look out the window and see it snowing is exciting. If only it would snow on Christmas... That would be pretty freaking sweet.

And although my love for the snow is very high, it makes me want to do absolutely nothing. I just want to sit around, drink eggnog, and watch movies. Which sounds like a pleasant Saturday. I should go to church... But involves driving and/or taking the train (which is rocking it's never popular and always inconvenient track scheduled track maintenance, which is cause delays which I hate so very much).

The idea of staying home and watching Humphrey Bogart movies until the Caps play tonight seems like a great idea.

I love snow.

Why So Serious...

You ever have a moment where you think or say something and then a light clicks and you realize you have a problem? I had one of those this morning. It disturbed me and made me curious.

Situation goes a little something like this; I was driving to work, drinking my coffee, listening to Max Richter, you know, standard Monday thru Friday ordeal. And then I see it... the bumper sticker that made me sigh. You know the slightly disgusted sigh. Too be honest almost all bumper stickers make me sigh that sigh but this morning was different. This bumper sticker said....

"Couple for Christ"

Why did this bumper sticker rub me the wrong way... I'm not entirely sure. I mean... I would consider myself a follower of Christ or what's more commonly called a Christian. And this sticker is way less offensive then other stickers, t-shirts, books, sermons, etc... So why this sticker, this morning?

Instantly this got me thinking as to why I had been rubbed the wrong way by such a simple little phrase that affects my world not at all. But I was disturbed and have to face the fact that I'm bitter towards Christianity as a culture. I mean I already knew this and I've been very outspoken against certain aspects and I have come down very hard on capitalizing in the name of Christ. But to sigh in disgust at a bumper sticker that says couples for christ?

I have a problem. I'm sorry.

Too long for twitter

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go,for to you I lift up my soul.

Psalm 143:8

Time is Limited... So I choose tv

There are only so many hours between the time I get home from work and when I'd like to go to bed. And since running, dinner, and the evening shower take up 2 hours of my evening.

Side note: I understand this is pathetic.

I spent some time working on music this evening which is always a good use of time. So I've decided to spend a little time watching season 2 of The Big Bang Theory. A very funny show and I enjoy it. I should probably spend some time reviewing some records for my site or writing some poetry for my other blog. I want to finish reading Through Painted Deserts so I can start the new Donald Miller book. But... instead I wanted to watch some television.

Not a real productive life I live.