Thanksgiving is a couple of days away. I'm pretty excited. Good food. I love turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, pumpkin pie... I'm hungry. Tomorrow or Thursday I'll have a post on being thankful and the things that I'm very appreciative of this year.

I'd be lying if I said anything other then I'm super excited for Christmas. I've done 95% of my shopping thus far (which turned out to be even bigger then thought). I love christmas. It's very exciting. I get far too into giving. I love buying christmas gifts for people. I did it last year and I'm doing it again. I have a lot of joy giving gifts. It's exciting. I wish I had that same joy all year.

The other reason I love Christmas is the music. Not the same dozen cheesy songs you hear on the radio. More like...

Stress and such has caught up with me. I am home from work sick today. I'm not really of fan of being sick.

There's a line in the song "It's Hard Not to Shake..." by Zao that is hitting me in the head right now.

"I am not a prophet or a teacher. I am a failure of God."

This is how I feel right now. I'm down. Saturday night playing drums and worshiping was a great moment of grace and peace that I wish had stayed. It confirmed that I shouldn't quit the worship team. I wrote a song about 5 years ago called What are you waiting for and I said, "what are you waiting for (someone to hold me), what are you waiting for (someone to save me). I've been held, I've been saved... What am I waiting for?

Maybe I'm trying to hard. I'm pretty sure I'm not trying hard enough. I know I'm spending too much time trying to fix myself and work on myself instead of letting God come in a fix me. Why is it so hard to just accept grace and now that there is nothing I can do but God can change is reform me if I let him.

This is a song we played Saturday night. I love it.

Carmen...

God can use all types of things and people to touch people's lives. In the early/mid 90's it was Carmen. I sat down at my computer yesterday, went to youtube and started watching Carmen videos. How did he do it? I'm perplexed. I don't get it. I don't understand it. If you don't know who Carmen is I will now post music videos and let you experience Carmen for yourself. Enjoy... sort of....

Rocket and the Bomb

So I don't really want to talk about the election. I did vote 3rd party. Both Obama and McCain had their strong points and weak points and in the end I'm hoping for 3 good years from Obama(the 4th will be spent running for re-election and not our country). For those complaining about Obama, hopefully you prayed for God's will to done and will continue to pray for Obama and our country. If you'd rather bitch that's your prerogative but let's try to keep some positivity.

I feel lately things have been crazy. My schedule is jammed packed and my free moments are fleeting. I'm not even sure how things get so busy. But lately I'm going crazy and having to back out of things (sorry Steph, I feel like an ass for pulling out on you). I'm trying really hard to rely on God and maintain my relationship and growth. I feel there's a lot of moving forward that needs to be done and just working hard and accomplishing. There's a calling on my life that I don't fully understand or even really know but I have a semi direction and a definite passion and I'm hoping to make the most of my life.

On a side note, it is November meaning I have started listening to Christmas music. I am excited.