Every New Day

So I'm not very intentional in my writing and there are a couple reasons for this. Most importantly is it's fun. As soon as I start trying to write intentionally I think all the joy will be taken out of it. So I go through periods of where I write all the time and I go through periods where I write constantly. But I've been thinking a lot lately and I feel like I have a lot to say but it to words isn't always easy for me. Which is the second reason I don't write intentionally. I don't like to force myself to form thoughts and I don't like spending a lot of time thinking about things. I like to write and put it out there. With that in mind... here we go.

I had a thought last night. Not so much a new thought, just a refigured thought.

I'm in the midst of a 40 day fast for lent.I'm three weeks in and I must say it's been a great experience and it's been something of a living hell. The idea of giving something up to spend more time with God has been great. I think over the long hall this fast will be very beneficial to my life. The hard part is for it to be beneficial is that in the process of this fast I feel like I'm being refined and redefined by fire. The first day of fasting I asked God for wisdom and guidance. What I didn't expect was that the wisdom and guidance would be about my character and who I am. Deep personal issues that have been around for years, that I've known about, but mostly ignored because... well they've been there for years. A month ago I scribbled on a piece of paper a statement that rang very true last night.

"There's a state of mind I need to leave, but the blankets warm and it fills a need."

That's where I am. In a place that's not good for me, but feels good. The problem with ingrained habits and thought patterns is because they've made a home it's not easy to just kick them out. To grow I know what I need to quit doing but the how isn't a clear cut answer. But I think an admittance is important and in the longer run I think my life will grow a lot more without these certain issues.

Now to that point (that was a long tangent). The thought that keeps coming back is it's ok to be radical. Which has me thinking... can one whom drinks, admits he's never going to have everything figured out, questions everything, swears when he gets mad, votes democrat, be a "radical" believer. And I think you can. I don't think we can't cross being perfect and being a follower of Christ. I know I've done some weird things for God but I think my life is pretty normal and I'm not a "weird Christian". And... I want to live with a passion to the things of God but I don't want to shelter myself and change who I am. I don't want to compromise my beliefs and convictions, even if they don't gel with other peoples.

Yup. There you have it.

Dread Champions Of The Last Days

So I was going to write a little piece on Freedom but my evening has been thrown off track so you'll have to wait at least a day for that. Instead I'll give you a random fact about myself.

BP is deathly afraid of snakes!

I've been listening to a lot of Sleeping Giant the past 2 days. Great band!

The Joy of Music

I bought Fugazi's "Instrument" on vinyl in November. Still sealed. Great pick up. (I actually bought the entire catalog on vinyl but this was the only on sealed). I finally opened it up and gave it a listen to. Great album anyway, but the first play of a record... awesome. Better then listening to the cd, better then listening to it on an ipod. Vinyl is still the way to listen to music.

The Fear is What Keeps Us Here

It's been a while since I've posted an actual post where I talked about anything. So today might be that day.

I'm digging the title to the last Zao record. There's something about "Fear Is What Keeps Us Here" that resounds with me. The idea that we don't move and do things because of fear is a idea that hits with me. As a record it's awesome, Zao throws down with the best. As a thought, I love it.

A friend of mine posted a line from Donald Miller this evening that I really like.

"I think we are supposed to stand in deserts and marvel at how the sun rises. I think we are supposed to sleep in meadows and watch stars dart across space and time. I think we are supposed to love our friends and introduce people to the story, to the peaceful, calming why of life. I think life is spirituality"

I actually have nothing to say. I'm very sorry.

Valentine's Day Got You Down...

Have no fear. I have come to rescue your Valentine's Day strife. Patton Proudly Presents "I Gave Her My Heart, She Gave Me a Pen: A Valentine's Day 08 Mixtape"

Whether you're looking for some sweet tunes to share with you significant other or just looking for a soundtrack to help you drown your loneliness while you eat that box of Whitmans you bought yourself (don't be ashamed, I do it it). So enjoy some sweet music on this sweet day!

http://www.mediafire.com/?20nm2gji0zi

Nothing is Ever Enough

A couple of years ago Derek Webb released a record called "I See Things Upside Down". It's not a bad record. There are two songs I love on the record. The first is called "Better Then Wine". The second is this incredible song called "Nothing is Ever Enough." I believe the first time I heard this song I stopped whatever it was I was doing and listened to this song. It gave me chills. Whenever this songs come up on itunes I get chills. I highly recommend you find this song and listen to it. You won't regret it.

You Make Me, Me

As I said yesterday I'm in love with Mxpx. The song "You Make Me, Me" is my new favorite song at the moment. It's what World Waits was a couple months ago. I'm a sucker for a good love song. Songs that bring a smile to my face, that make me feel good. This is one of those songs. If you're reading this you should go pick up a copy of "Before Everything and After". I love it.

Every night I get down on my knees and pray
And thank the Lord above for you each day
I was lost and then I found you
You make my ocean, you make my sky blue

You make me smile
You make me sing
You make me scream
You make me, everything
You make me, me

What blessings has the Lord stored up for me?
You are the answer to that mystery
I was lost and then I found you
You make my ocean, you make my sky blue

You make me smile
You make me sing
You make me scream
You make me, everything
You make me laugh
You make me cry
You make me live
You make me die
You make me, me

Height won't separate us from this love,
Depth can't separate us from this love,
Can't separate from this love...

You make me smile
You make me sing
You make me scream
You make me, everything
You make me laugh
You make me cry
You make me live
You make me die

These days so few seem to have faith
In the son of man and in his grace
I feel your breath upon my face
As you replace, my broken wings

You make me sing
You make me scream
You make me, everything
You make me, me

You make me, me

Before Everything and After

So it's been a while since I've posted. It's not that I haven't had anything to say, more just a lack of wanting to communicate it with the blog world. I'm trying to be more careful of what I post. It's hard when it comes to spiritual things because I want to keep a written record of things and I want people to feel free to ask me how things are going in whatever. Lent starts on Wednesday and this is the first year I'm doing a 40 day fast. I'm not fasting food but I think what I am fasting will be a challenge to maintain. I hope come the end of the 40 days I will have kept myself to this fast.

I had written off Mxpx after The Ever Passing Moment came out and never listened to Before Everything and After. On a whim I picked it up a couple weeks ago and listened to it for the first time this evening while walking. I actually really like this record. Some songs hit you just right at certain moments of your life.