When Coffee Attacks!

I love coffee. I've tried to quit drinking coffee before and I've just com to the conclussion that it's a dumb idea. I drink a lot of coffee. It doesn't really keep me awake anymore but at least I can pretend. I'm a big fan of flavored coffee. Hazelnut is the best but we have French Vanilla at work (certain people I work with don't like Hazelnut).

Anyway, about 1:45 this afternoon I got a headache. I took a couple of Bayer and decided to have a cup of coffee. Poured my cup (with cream and sugar of course) and was walking back to my desk when a co-worker in front of me decided to throw their arm backwards. They slapped my cup of coffee and I got a nice hot cup of coffee all over my shirt. First, it did hurt like the dickens. Lucky for me, I always keep a sweatshirt at work so I was able to change out of my wet t-shirt and wear a sweatshirt for the rest of day.

This would be the second time in 07 that a cup of coffee was spilled on me. The first time being at Barnes and Noble when a women turned into me and dumped her coffee onto my sweatshirt.

So I will be watching more carefully where I walk (for at least a day).

And there was money in the streets!

I'm not a big Monday fan. Friday is a way better day for me. But today was not so bad. I woek up before my alarm (which doesn't upset me because the sound of my alarm does). Got in the shower and started singing "The Arms of Sorrow" by Killswitch Engage. I'm not really a Killswitch fan and I'm not sure why I woke up singing this song but I did. Had to wait til I got to work to actually hear it but still...

Anyway, I got to the parking garage same time as usual and as I'm backing into my parking space I notice some money on the ground. This excited me. I got out of my car and picked up the $6. What a great way to start off your day!

The Advent of a Miracle

I posted about Shai Hulud's "Hearts Once Nourished With Hope And Compassion". Tonight I'm going to talk abvout another hardcore record that I still love. Strongarm's "The Advent of a Miracle" (1997). Similar in style to Shai Hulud (both records share the same drummer). Aside from have more melody then Hearts Once Nourished, the biggest difference between the two records is Advents spirituality. Spirit Filled Hardcore at it's finest.

"This is all that I believe
To bear witness to my calling
My life escapes me, my days they shorten
These final breaths to testify" (These TimesThat Try Men's Souls)


"A life of self sacrifice, a new creation
Devotion to purity, in the midst of light conviction
Set fire, to the hearts desire, taken by storm
No longer in the dark, dwelling in shadows nevermore" (Supplication)


"Formed, in the palm of GOD's mighty hand
Shaped, by the work of his will
And alive from the breath of his loving heart
Man's inspiration, is GOD's touch on the quickened nerves of the spirit" (Council of Perfection)


"I've seen the face of redemption, I've closed my eyes
I've felt the hand of grace, mend my broken heart
I've pierced my savior's sidefeel, with deceit and lies
In the mist of betrayal, still repentance waits" (More Bitter Than Death)


"Only love can fill the void, when the world has taken it's toll
Hand in hand, by your side, we'll walk down this path together
I'll take you to the place where promises will never break" (Advent of a Miracle)


"Creation groans for completion
Truth wakes in understanding
And the morning comes yielding peace
Oh how I long for this to be
Truth" (Sorrow is a Sage)


"Change starts a thought and can only be taught
With deep concern, the heart through the mind through time, learn" (Increase)


"The thing that drive us to hate, to love, to lust, to greed, and to good is
longing
Every soul is born with that vague undefined hole
We search each other's eyes for answers and find none
God will break the yolk that burdens you" (The Fall of Babylon)

Dangerous Business Since 1979

I downloaded this mashup record, "Incorporated" by the Legion of Doom. Incredible stuff. Hardcore and emo mashups. Not really songs I enjoy on their own but together I'm loving. Great record that you can download for free on their message board. Check it out.

When the Sky Pours Down Like a Fountain

I like rainy days. Today was a rainy day (well, rainy evening). It was 68 degress in Washington, DC. 68 in August... I loved it! A nice cool late summer day, a rainy evening. There's something comforting about rain to me. Today reminded me of an early fall day, which I love. I know people kind of dread fall because it means summer is over and winter will be here soon but I love fall. The leave turn and fall from the trees, football season, apple cider, halloween, my birthday, cooler weather (I know, I'm abstract).

There's a rainy day atmosphere that's nice. What can be depressing about rainy day to most people has a certain appeal to me. Staying indoors and listening to the rain fall on your roof. Running around outside and getting soaked. I have some good memories associated with rainy days. A good rain is refreshing. It cools off the air in the summertime, waters the plants. Something about sitting down with a nice cup of tea on a rainy day with some Billie Holiday on the record player in the background... creates a nice little backdrop to life.

Why did I stay?

I went and saw Superbad tonight. I almost left. I probably should've. It's the only time I've ever been to a movie and even thought about walking out. Why did I stay?

Writing on the Walls

I enjoy writing. It's good for me. I nice release for me to talk about nothing. Sometimes I'm inspired and write deep, meaningful things (to me at least). I can be personal. But I enjoy writing about absolutely nothing as well. Writing about my lunch is just as good for me as writing about my personal beliefs or struggles.

Why I find it enjoyable and freeing is that it's just me and my computer (I don't hand write anything). If someone else reads this it's ok because they're reading it.. I've already wrote it. I'm not concerned with their response.

Real life isn't like that. I won't say anything without thinking about it first. Why? Because I don't want to sound dumb. I called a friend today just to say thank you. They asked why and I had no clue why. I just wanted to thank them for being awesome and being my friend. Not really something I do but I felt it was called for.

There's no point to any of this. Just....writing.

Now... if I could only find someone who will listen to me talk about lunch.

Sometimes

I'm kind of uninspired tonight. I had a thought of something to write but it's passed.

I'm currently enjoying St. Vincent's "Marry Me". This is only my second listen but I'm really digging this record.

All Around Me

I'm not a huge Flyleaf fan but I'm really digging this song.




My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry
The light is white
And I see you


Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you owe me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

Be Quiet and Drive

I took a drive tonight. I just got in my car and drove. No destination. Just got a cd, got into my car, and drove. Just spending some time clearing my head. I always enjoy just driving. Taking the roads you always wanted to but never had a need to actually go that way. Gas is to expensive to justify doing this all the time but tonight I needed it.

The Only Reason I Feel Secure Is That I'm Validated by My Peers

Life can be tough sometimes. This has been one of those tough weeks.

Beliefs and Obession

I have a love/hate relationship with the hardcore scene. I'm a big fan of the music but outside a handful of bands I can't listen to it at length anymore. But there are a couple of records that have a special place in my heart.

Shai Hulud's 1997 record "Hearts Once Nourished with Hope and Compassion" is one such album. Musically intense and lyrically thoughtfull I enjoy this record everytime I put it on.

"As we embrace righteousness, we embrace life
Purified, united. set aside from the majority
I will serve as an example to man as hope
By defending those I love with my life
I stand here bold and strong
As a testament to my abstinence
My heart is open; this slate is clean." (Soley Concentrating on the Negative Aspects of Life)


"I can only stand in front of a broken mirror for so long
Staring at the reflection of failed attempts at love and a black heart.
My heart, once nourished with hope and compassion, now is black as death.
Trudging forward, broken, devoid of love
I am nothing more than scars." (Outside the Boundaries of a Friend)


"With so few actions, so many words.
Won't take this complacency anymore.
I won't accept the criticism of my peers
I won't accept this objection.
I cannot judge others lives only to justify my own
One more word and I'm broken
One more word." (Beliefs and Obsession)


"These hand should cleanse your soul of the lust and the greed of this world.
And they call me a fool as they do so well.
Destroy the morality none have known for so long if ever at all
And I would lay down my life to birth a new generation of a righteous culture." (Profound Hatred of Man)


"We grasp at endless questions for a sense of hope
It's not so simple to sit and wait
We cannot embrace our roles blindly

Minds are in suspended animation
Due to an attachment to this established lifestyle
My existence will not be dictated like a reading from a book" (Eating Bullets of Acceptance)


"Sadly I've learned there's no truth in comfort;
Well-being stems not from love.
Anguish proves to be my only means of solace,
Yet I want to be held by anyone,
With any arms" (For the World)

Through Wounds We Soon Will Stitch

Revelations are nice to get but man can they hurt.

I read Christine Caine's book "Stop Acting Like a Christian, Just be One" and it was pretty good. There's a 31 day "devotional" at the end and I'm going through it and keeping a journal. Being honest with myself has sometimes kept me from keeping a journal because when I start typing it's hard for me to stop. I've come to find the more I write, the more I talk, the more insightful I become about my life. Which is great but tonight was insight that brought me to tears. For the first time I can to see that what I saw as my biggest weakness and pint of setback is actually a slap in the face to God and it's me telling him I don't like who you made me. It hurt me to come to this place but now the healing and transformation can come.

Rest

It's been a good weekend so far. Last night I went to dinner with Becky and Jake (like every weekend). This morning my brother and I went and saw the Bourne Ultimatium (which is great and you should see) and then went to lunch. I skipped going to church tonight to just sit back and relax. I finally finished reading "Jesus in the Margins" by Rick McKinley and I am currently playing Mario Kart (do we even need other video games?). Tomorrow I plan on watching the Tick again. Season 2 comes out Tuesday and I feel like I should watch season 1 again.

There's a great band called Loss a Child. They recently released their third album called Adam and Eve. I highly reccomend to get this record. The album was released by the Lost Children Net Label which is an online label that has all their albums available for download. If you're looking for good music for when you're studying or just something to have on in the background download this record. http://www.archive.org/details/LostChildren029

Dear Tragedy

So a quick little story to put a wrap on my day. I went to Starbucks to meet jay. Got my drink, took a sip, and then spilled the entire thing on myslef and floor. It kind of sucked. Now I think my sister has just shrunk all of my t-shirts. Awesome.

Tomorrow's friday and a half day at work so things are already looking up.

Joy in Release

So tomorrow I'm going to change the sandwich up a little. I got some marshmellow fluff, so it'll be peanut butter and fluff for lunch.

For probably the first time in my life, tonight I brought forward a very personal struggle as a prayer request. Something that I'm come to notice in the last couple of days as a point of struggle I've been dealing with it. And instead of holding on to it and trying to deal with it alone, I was able to just release it and share it with people who can keep me in prayer and ask me how things are going. It was very freeing and it's something I'm glad I did.

Currently listening to Amiina's record "Kurr". Very chill. Reminds me a little of So Percussions last record.