R.I.P. Sean Taylor

It's been a tough day. I wasn't expecting the first thing I heard this morning was that Sean Taylor had been killed. For all my complaining about the American cultures need for celebrity, this death really hit me this afternoon on my way home listening to the press confernce and then hearing people's reactions. I soent an hour on the treadmill wacthing coverage holding back tears. I could look over at my little brother, 10 years younger than me and he was holding holding back tears. I'm sure it hits us more then the average person being from Washington and having grown up Redskins fans. But my heart really goes out to his family. His poor little girl who will have to spend the rest of her life without her dad. It's heartbreaking.I think Willis McGahee said it nicely.

"Sean was a great player, but more importantly a special person. When a senseless tragedy like this happens close to home, it really makes you think about the people in your life. This is much bigger than football; life is precious and you are reminded of that every day."

A song came to me as I was watching coverage, "The Fatherless and the Widow" by Sixpence None the Richer.

I continue to pray for the Taylor family and all thos who have been affected by his death.





Fatherless and the widow
Stricken down by the hand of death
Grasping for security
Anticipation of the imminent next
Of the imminent next

The fatherless and the widow
Find their souls filled with fear
Her lover gone forever
His hand to hold is never coming back
Never coming back

Behind closed doors they cry their tears
Behind closed doors they reveal their fears
To the God in heaven above
To the God in heaven above

Music!

Here's some music I've been digging lately


Tom Jones & Cerys Matthews




Mono



The American Dollar



The Autumns

Thanks Giving and Christmas

Current enjoyments include a slice of pumpkin cheesecake, a cold glass of milk, Starflyer 59 playing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. The Christmas tree is up in the house, the lights and all the decorations that let one know it is that time of year. In my impatience and question yesterday I didn't really take a lot of time to reflect on the things I'm thankful for. So post turkey day I'm being thankful. I feel God has allowed me to be questioning of him this year so that he may prove himself faithful and real to me in times when I need to see his faithfulness most. He's brought meaningful friendship and dialogue into my life at times when I felt alone. He's brought peace when the bottom has completely fallen out and I had nothing. He's brough people who inspire time after time at the right moments. And even though I feel I've fallen further and further away from whatever modern christianity is, and though I've fallen into the same old sins over and over, I feel I've come closer to God this year and am slowly learning what it means to just be loved by God and live out of that love. Even though things have not gone as I thought they would and my plans have been completely thrown in a loop, I feel that God will remain faithful to his promises to me and I need to be paitent and wait on his timing. I guess the point is, what I'm most thankful for this year is God's forgiveness and love, that he never ever gives up on me no matter how far I wander and how much I question and screw up. That's he'll always be there with open arms, still loving me.

This Is A Process Of A Still Life

"I feel myself motioned, walking further still towards you
But the closer I seem to come, the farther yet you run.

Yet as I turn to walk away
And ask for God a sign
Though the last thing that I wanted
That's always when you come"

It's really hard for me to wait on God. When God answers prayer with a "yes but not yet", it tends to make me impatient and doubtful of his promise. I've asked for signs and they've come as confirmation, and the desire and prayer hasn't changed but it's not yet his timing and the circumstances of the situation are much different then they first were. But I still believe he's faithful and that what he's promised will come in his time. But... I'd much rather not wait.

Christmas Time, It's Christmas Time

I'm not asking for people to admit it but the Christmas season is in full effect and I'm excited. Thanksgiving is Thursday, meaning Thursday night the Christmas tree will go up in the house. People have started putting up lights, christmas music is in the air, the shopping is here.

Last year Christmas sucked. I was depressed and couldn't wait for it to over. This year not the case. I couldn't be more excited for Christmas. I've been spinning Vince Guaraldi's "A Charlie Brown Christmas" this week. I'm looking forward to watching Charlie Brown on tv like evry year. Watching Nightmare Before Christmas on Thanksgiving. White Christmas, A Christmas Story, Eating cookies! It's going to be awesome. I'm going to bust out X-Mas with the Supans today rock.

In other news I've watched the first 2 seasons on Deadwood. Great show! Not for those who don't like swearing.

I leave you this...

Stuff

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes and stuff. It was awesome.

My vacation came to end today and I went back to work. It was a needed to refreshing vacation.

I just read this again and felt like sharing.

1 Corinthians 13


If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I started a post earlier and I completely lost my train of thought and deleted that post. Just half way into writing nothing made sense anymore. Oh well.

I'm currently playing online scrabble with Jay. It's late... I'm going to lose.

Here's something fun.

The Temptation of Joy?

So the question was asked, why is the blog called the temptation of joy. There are two reasons. First, it sounds cool (seriously try and try and argue that). The second (and answer for anyone who disagrees with answer one) is simple. The temptation of joy isn't about joy itself. It's what brings us joy. The goal is to write about things that I enjoy, that bring happiness into my life. To post songs and words that mean something to me. I enjoy writing. It is one of those things that makes me happy. That's why this is the temptation of joy. It's about what brings me joy, not what a commercial says will bring me joy. (Note: The Temptation of Joy is also a song by Jatun http://www.myspace.com/jatun)


I came to the conclusion a couple weeks ago that I was hopelessly in love. Not in love like with a girl I'm dating or whatever but hopelessly in love as in... no matter how hard I try, there's no way this person will not be a part of my life. Which I wish wasn't so... sometimes. God has answered my prayers and made it pretty clear that, try as I might, this person isn't going anywhere.

I've started drinking mint tea (and by started I mean it's been a couple of weeks). Very good stuff.

The current soundtrack to my life is Jeremy Enigk's "World Waits" and Steve Reich's "Music for 18 Musicians".

A Moment Suspended in Time

"It's so funny how we see things so clear when we have no time left to live"

It's been a busy week. I've been busting my hump at work to get my project done by tomorrow (which accomplished) because I'm on vacation next week (Yay!).

Monday night, after working late, I jumped onto Metro and head to the 930 Club to see Underoath, Every Time I Die, and Poison the Well. Very good show. I enjoyed myself emensely and I love Underoath as a live band. Trying to decide if I should go see David Bazan on Monday. Probably will.

I haven't been sleeping much this week and because my laundry has taken 2 and a half hours just to wash (that's retarded), I will be up late again tonight. But my vacation starts tomorrow so it'll good. I'm so looking forward to sitting around, watching movies, playing video games, and sleeping! What a great week it will be.

Fall is in full swing and I'm loving it. I've broken full into the black hoodie collection (5 total). Tomorrow night is a little pit fire and smore eating. It's going to be a great night. And because I'm in charge of the fun there might even be some duck, duck goose.

This is a video for Slowdive's "Allison". Probably my favorite shoegaze song.