Sunday, June 28, 2009


Sometimes I'm stricken with strange ideas. And my poor wallet combined with a conversation about iphones has led me to this one.

If you're a christian who had an iphone 3g and just bought an iphone 3gs you should be ashamed of yourself. Did you need to spend that money for video? Really???? I believe God will bless people monitairly but to use that blessing to buy a new version of the iphone instead of using it to help God's children in need? I hate the idea of God has blessed me so much, look at how rich I am. It upsets me. And I'm not innocent of this. I go to Best Buy and look at dvds to buy when I know at home I have tons of movies I have never watched. And yet I continue to consume.

I don't think we need to just pay our bills, but our groceries and the rest of our money needs to go to helping the poor, or to missions, or to someone in need, but I think we need to be smarter spenders. The government is saying we need to spend our money to stimulate the economy but what about stimulating God's economy? What about making investments in things that will last for all eternity? My goal is to be smarter with my money. To have money available so I can help others. I want to use my money for good, not for myself.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Saturday, June 20, 2009

A Fault Line A Fault Of Mine

I'm in desperate need of God. Which is such a weird statement because we're all in desperate need of God and because I'm saved, I already have God. I guess the point is I have a desperate desire to be closer still to God. I think we all have various moments at various times where life seems to have lost meaning or purpose or focus or just desire, where we say God my life is stuck in such a rut and I need you so much closer. Because when God is closer, my perspective changes.

One of the most profound statements in the bible for me is when Paul said "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing" in Romans(7:19). He says that is the evil within him that keeps him sinning. I feel like this is true in my life, and I don't use this as an excuse or justification for sinning but as a statement that my I so desperately want to do what is good but I don't. And I'm trying really hard... but I fail. It's so much easier sometimes just to give in and sin.

I'm going to start reading Job. I love Job. Job is my favorite person in the bible. I led a summer bible study on the book of Job. I preached a sermon to junior kids on what we can learn from Job. Job is a complex book of the bible, he was a complex guy. The basics of Job is known. God tells Satan that he can do anything to Job without killing him and Job will not curse God's name. Satan takes the bet and kills all of Job's livestock, children, and stuff. He gives Job a terrible disease and yet despite all of that Job does not curse God. And at the end God blessed Job with all his stuff and more.

But the middle of the book of Job is where the story is. Job's friends show up and plead with him to repent of whatever sin he has committed and Job defends is innocence before God and pleads with God to show him the error in his ways. This happens for days and then God shows up. And Job sees that he is nothing and knows nothing about God and silences himself before the greatness of God. Job states that he is nothing and has already said too much and has nothing more to say. He says "I had heard of you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. I take back everything I said and sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance"(Job 42:5-6).

I know nothing of God. What I know is that I keep breaking his heart and yet he will still forgive and love me. I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


I've been meanings to post this for a couple of days but I haven't had a chance so here we go.

I was on youtube the ohter day (as I often am) and I found some live footage of Training for Utopia (who is a great band). I was enjoying the wondeful sounds of the great TFU and started to read the couple of comments posted. Of course there was a "conversation" going on that started with this simple statement... "Christian Metal is a sin". And all I could say was "Really"! There is a movie coming out about the history of Christian Rock called Bleed Into One and it goes into this whole idea of "christian music" being evil and I can't wait for this film. Anyway... that simple post combined with a story I read a couple of weeks ago about a kid who was going to get suspended from his christian high school for going to prom at his girlfriends public school because dancing is wrong got me thinking.

How are we still at a point where dancing and music of certain genres (pr at all) are considered evil and/or a sin. Can music be evil, sure. Can dancing be sinful, sure. But to put out blanket statements like "Christian" metal is evil is so beyond me. I mean to be fair I do love metal... And I love dancing... But I also love God and Jesus. I've never felt like listening to christian metal made me more sinful or evil. I've never felt like my dancing was a sin. David danced. A bunch of the psalms are written as songs. I don't think David ever danced to Lil Wayne but that's not the point.

My point is that I hate when people make things Christian vs Secular. I hate when people make a cheap imitation christian version of something secular. There was a period when it seemed like the only christian music being released was cheap, lackluster, christian versions of whatever bands were popular in the mainstream and it was bullshit. I think things are a lot better now. The bands coming out worth giving a listen to are still around and the quality of bands that have been making waves in music as a whole have been great and greatly improved and are no longer bringing the world more crappy christian music for youth group kids to suckle on. But I digress...

God loves us so much! He sent his son to die for us. The bible is full of things that break God's heart. It's full of things that we do that hurt him so deeply. And because of that I have such a hard time saying that a form of music or expression on hit's own can be considered evil or sinful. If a christian dances or plays metal and is doing so to bring glory to God, isn't that considered worship? If we're called to worship God in everything we do, with everything that we are, isn't the moment we do something as an act or expression of love to God to be considered worship and seen as holy and worthy?

I want to love God with all that I am and with everything that I am and with everything that I do, be it poetry, dancing, heavy metal suck, tattoos, making coffee, whatever. The aim is to bring and give glory to God. And as long as my heart in trying to accomplish that then who cares what the expression is?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Thanks God for Rock and Roll Moms and Dads

Lazy Saturdays are always better then Saturdays where I have stuff to do. We all know this is true. I rolled out of bed at 10:30, took a morning run, ate a bowl of Golden Grahams, drank a cup of coffee, and am working on some mix cds for my parents.

Making mix cd's is a joy I have. I can't really explain it but together a collection of a dozen songs or so into a mix for someone to enjoy just makes me happy. Making these cd's for my parents is fun. Music they'd enjoy but also seeing how cool my parents taste in music can be. For my mom it's pretty straight forward. Mid to late 90's christian rock. Bands like Skillet, Five Iron Frenzy, The Supertones, Out of Eden, Bleach and the like. My dad is a little more complex and fun.

All my best memories from high school are going to concerts with my dad. Going to see P.O.D., Blindside, Squad Five-O, Zao, .rod laver, Stavesacre, Pigeon John, Purple Door Fest. Putting together a mix for my dad is going completely across the christian music spectrum and I'm loving it. From old school bands like Daniel Amos, LSU, Alter Boys to bands like P.O.D., Stavesacre, MxPx, Grammatrain, and Blindside. I like that I could put either of parent's mixes in my car and enjoy every song. Really thankful that God blessed me with pretty cool parents.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Sad news out of DC this afternoon with a shooting that happened at the Holocaust Museum. It's just so heart breaking that something so senseless can happen. That someone can harbor so much hate towards a race or religion that they would go forth and kill people, innocent people. Life is meant for so much and to have this kind of hate just boggles my mind. I sincerely send my prayers to the family of the security guard who lost his life today.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Update on usage

To anyone who reads this little blog and is wondering how to get to previous entries, I'm about to fill you in. Go to the links page and click on the month of musings you care to read. Once you that you need to go back into the journal section. And there you go.

Thursday, June 4, 2009


First off, thanks to my wonderful girlfriend Carley for updating the look of this site. You're amazing.

Very sad though to hear that David Carradine passed today. I loved Kung-Fu and I thought he was fantasic in Kill Bill.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Take me by the hand;
it's so easy for you, Angel,
for you are the road
even while being immobile.

You see, I'm scared no one
here will look for me again;
I couldn't make use of
whatever was given,

so they abandoned me.
At first the solitude
charmed me like a prelude,
but so much music wounded me.

by Rainer Maria Rilke

Monday, June 1, 2009

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

So my alarm went off at 5:00 am as it does on every Monday morning and it was painful (also like every Monday). Not sleeping well last night didn't help the fact that I hadn't seen that early in the morning in over a week. I was not ready to go back to work this morning.

At lunch I went to Safeway and they didn't have any of the soups out that I enjoy so I decided to try something new... Not good. I don't remember what it was but the cheese was overpowering the taste. I should've gotten the chilli (or just walked down to Baja and gotten tacos).

Then our paychecks didn't come in before I left. Total bummer.

My roommate turned the ac off today... It's hot in here.

Today has not been easy.