Thanks Giving and Christmas

Current enjoyments include a slice of pumpkin cheesecake, a cold glass of milk, Starflyer 59 playing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. The Christmas tree is up in the house, the lights and all the decorations that let one know it is that time of year. In my impatience and question yesterday I didn't really take a lot of time to reflect on the things I'm thankful for. So post turkey day I'm being thankful. I feel God has allowed me to be questioning of him this year so that he may prove himself faithful and real to me in times when I need to see his faithfulness most. He's brought meaningful friendship and dialogue into my life at times when I felt alone. He's brought peace when the bottom has completely fallen out and I had nothing. He's brough people who inspire time after time at the right moments. And even though I feel I've fallen further and further away from whatever modern christianity is, and though I've fallen into the same old sins over and over, I feel I've come closer to God this year and am slowly learning what it means to just be loved by God and live out of that love. Even though things have not gone as I thought they would and my plans have been completely thrown in a loop, I feel that God will remain faithful to his promises to me and I need to be paitent and wait on his timing. I guess the point is, what I'm most thankful for this year is God's forgiveness and love, that he never ever gives up on me no matter how far I wander and how much I question and screw up. That's he'll always be there with open arms, still loving me.