I hadn't realized it had been so long since I had written until my girlfriend had said something to me. I'm not sure where to start or what to write about. Life is kind of a crazy mix bag of all sorts of stuff. Mostly all for the good. I've been dating a wonderful girl who lifts my spirit and keeps me smiling. The want to change and be better for someone else is a first for me. It's been awesome and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I'm really just enjoying life. Spending a lot of nights seeing live music. Doing things I haven't done in years (ice skating, the zoo). Just enjoying myself. Life is too short to not enjoy yourself. It's nearly July. Crazy!

I've really started getting back into Comic Books. I'm digging the summer movie season (as I do every year). Really looking forward to Wall-E on Friday and I'm super excited for both Hell Boy 2 and The Dark Knight. Loving the comic book movies this year. Nothing will probably top Iron Man but still digging what we got.

I wish I had something more inspiring the say but I don't. So here's some MxPx

Life is all about taking things in and putting things out

I have my studio set up in the other room and I'm hoping to get some music recorded during the course of this week. I hope that the stillness and emptiness of the house combined with having everything set up will help me move toward recording. I really can't understand why it's so hard for me to sit down and record music that I'm very happy with and like playing. The motivation just isn't coming. I don't get it.

I've begun to see where my life gets thrown off track. Things I love that I just quit doing. A year ago I spent a lot of time outdoors, downtown, taking pictures. It was something I loved doing but I stopped. I'm not sure why I stopped but I did. One of those things I love doing but don't do anymore. My goal is to take 1 picture a day. Of the normal, of the dull, of the beauty, the pain, whatever. One picture a day. When the creative, expressive side of me gets snuffed out, my passion for life and God fades. It's a shame that it happens to often.


Another goal is to start reading like I used to. I want to read a t least one chapter a day, Monday thru Thursday. I'm not sure how I waste the hours I have between work and going to bed but somehow I manage to. I just want to make better use of my time. To spend more time outdoors, to read, to be involved in things I love, to use my creative energy.

All in all though, I'm super happy right now. I'm getting ready to move and I'm really excited about that. I have an awesome girlfriend how is challenging me and helping me grow in new ways. I'm really optimistic about what the future holds for me.

This Kind Of Life Keeps Breaking Your Heart

I hate feeling like there's nothing I can do to help. When there are no words or actions to help a situation and you're completely at lose of what you can do other then love and be there... it's not quite feeling helpless but it's close. I hate not knowing how to help...

Stars in the Rearview Mirror

All this rain in DC the last month has really been a downer. I know I said I like rainy days but not for my entire spring. I also love being outdoors in nice weather.

I took a phone call and between writing that first line and now my original train of thought is gone. But I'll go with this. God always seems to bring along people into my life to help shape me and guide me at times that seem critical to me. I'm always blessed in different ways by the relationships that come and go in my life. Reflection backwards is always where I see how something impacted me at that moment.

I know there are things in my life God wants to change and I know what they are and since lent ended I've been struggling with moving to see aspects of my life alter toward who God wants me to become.

I'm not going to hazard a guess as to why certain things happen or why certain people become part of my life. I think it's more important to thankful and take advantage of the time we have with those God has given us for whatever moment of time we have with them. There are things to be learned from everybody and I try not to discredit anyone for any reason.

Having said all that I'm really grateful for Car. I'm glad God has allowed me to be a part of her life and vice versa. I can see past experiences helping to shape who I want to be and who I want to be to her and for her. I have a lot I could say but I'll keep myself to that. It's nice to have someone who will accept your past as who you were and help you along as you grow and will let you help them grow. I feel blessed beyond measure.

Stranded Under Endless Skies

So I saw Hammock Sunday night. Incredible, moving, spiritual, great experience. I was so excited to see them live. I bought a copy of their new record "Maybe They Will Sing for Us Tomorrow" and it's mind blowing. I have nothing bad to say about Hammock. Their is something deeply moving and spiritual about their music. It is without a doubt the most meaningful music in my life. From the very first listen to the new record. I've always been touched in some way.

The first time I ever heard Hammock was December 20 something the year Kenotic came out. I had gotten my car stuck in the snow. I had the Burnt Toast Vinyl christmas mix on my cd player and Winter Light came on. I had a great sense of peace come over me and I put that song on repeat. Didn't change songs for 20 plus minutes. I got online and bought the cd that night. Always Wishing You Were Somewhere Else and Take a Drink from My Hands have brought me to tears on separate occasions (I just had Always Wishing on my cd player and broke down). Monday I was listening to the new record at work and as soon as "Maybe They Will Sing for Us Tomorrow" came on something hit me and I started to tear it up.


They're a great band and their records should be bought and enjoyed in full.

Maybe They Will Sing

So I'm about to head out the door to see Hammock perform their second live show ever @ the Iota in Arlington, Va. It should be an awesome show. Plus Stars of the Lid is playing and they have Shiner Bock on draft at Iota. I'm looking forward to a great end of a great weekend. If you're in the DC area and are not going to this show, you're missing out.

Also, go see Iron Man! I've seen it twice this weekend and it's awesome.

Doubt Becomes the New Addiction

So I've been able to put off blogging for weeks now and the thought about writing has popped into my head several times but I've managed to find other ways to waste. I apologize to my reader. In this blog, probably some useless information, probably some deeps thoughts I've been dealing with, no info about the lady (sorry Steph).

I've really started to get back into record shopping. I've spent a lot of time (and money) at Joe's Record Paradise the past 2 weeks. I appreciate the store and they have a good collection and I always manage to find something awesome and something unexpected whenever I go in there. Good stuff. Go buy records.

I've reached a place in my life where I'm trying to figure out what it is I want to do with myself. God has given me desires and ambitions that I'd love to see come to fruition one day but having goals and ideas and reaching them are two different things. I think the struggle as of late has been trying to figure out what steps to take to try and see some of my goals come to life and just being able to trust that God has given me these desires and he has a way for me. Jeremiah 29 has been on my heart a lot lately. The reminder that God has good plans for me is where I'm trying to keep my head at and stay focused on and just a good reminder when I start to feel discouraged. Without really going into details I will say there will be a Friday night Backyard BBQ concert happening this summer. Perhaps multiple. Details forthcoming.

I've had some ear problems for the last week that have put me in a terrible mood and have really messed with my mind in a bad way and it's been discouraging and heart wrenching. It has brought out the worst in me and yet made me come to a place of admittance and repentance which I needed to come to. I think doubt can take over and make you over react and question God in a negative, hurtful way and I hit that low this afternoon while driving home in the rain. It brought me to tears and it brought me to an admittance of lacking in my life. Those moments of brokenness and honesty with God is where he speaks the most in my life. Which is how I'm sure it is with most people. I don't know why with God I spend so much time trying to defend and hide myself from him when he already knows everything and when I put my guard down is when he takes full advantage of my weakness. I don't want to live like that but I'm thankful for the moments when this happens and I hope to get to a point where my guard is always down with God.

So that's it. I'll post more... maybe.