If I were to be honest, I'd say I don't always believe God is in control. Like I said last week, life is hard. And even though God is always good, I don't always believe he's in control. And life makes me question and examine and pray prayers that are tough. It's not something I view as a crisis of faith or doubt in God's ability to take care of me. But tough times call for tough questions. Because if I don't re-examine or re-question, then I start to have doubts. Both in God and myself.
The question asked at the beginning of the message last night at church was "Does God hold the whole world in his hands?" It's a heavy question and in that instance, I knew it was going to be a tough sermon for me. And then Lamentations 3 was read.
I feel a kinship with the writers of the bible, especially David and Jeremiah. Between the Psalms and Lamentations, there's a lot of pain and there's a lot of tough prayers. And I appreciate more each day that they're in the bible. Because it serves as a reminder that life isn't always easy and in our anguish and pain we can call out to God and ask why. It makes me feel better about my own prayers, knowing that the Psalms are full of David's cries.
Did I mention last night's sermon was about God's faithfulness?
Lamentations 3 isn't really the model scripture for God's Faithfulness if you ask me.
1 [a]I am the man who has seen affliction
by the rod of the LORD’s wrath.
2 He has driven me away and made me walk
in darkness rather than light;
3 indeed, he has turned his hand against me
again and again, all day long.
10 Like a bear lying in wait,
like a lion in hiding,
11 he dragged me from the path and mangled me
and left me without help.
12 He drew his bow
and made me the target for his arrows.
13 He pierced my heart
with arrows from his quiver.
14 I became the laughingstock of all my people;
they mock me in song all day long.
17 I have been deprived of peace;
I have forgotten what prosperity is.
18 So I say, “My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the LORD.”
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
These are tough words that brought tears to my eyes last night. Because I can understand the pain. I think everyone can. No matter how long you've followed God at one point or another we feel like God has turned his back on us and our hope is gone. I know many times over the last year and a half in my frustration and desperation I've said "God why?" It's hard to see God answering the prayers of those around you while yours seem to only hit the ceiling. And that's when I begin to question my faith in God and if my faithfulness is preventing God from working in my life. And I don't have an answer. Because I don't know. I don't know why persons A, B, and C find jobs while myself and persons D, E, and F all struggle to find work. It doesn't seem fair. It doesn't make sense and at some point I begin to question if God works in that way.
But Lamentations 3 doesn't end with this pit of despair.
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.
Despite whatever isn't happening in my life and despite whatever is going wrong or falling down around me, God is faithful. No full-time job in a year and a half but the money has always been there for me to pay my bills. The answer I'm looking for isn't always how God is going to answer a prayer. Because he's faithful even when I'm not.
It's why I'm able to sing "You are the Faithful ONE" with a smile on my face and mean every word. Because God is always faithful.
No comments:
Post a Comment