Easter Thoughts

So it's Easter morning and while I'm in thought I'd figure I'd share them with the fine readers of this here blog.

I've been thinking this week about the Easter season and a little... saddened that my attitude going to into Easter this year seemed to be the complete opposite of what it was last year. And there are a handful of reasons why but mostly I've come to mindset that my life this year is in such a different place then it was last year that to have the same response would have meant no growth. Last year at this time I sat on my bed listening to Amazing Grace, reading Isaiah 53 with tears streaming down my face. Last year was probably the first time in my life I fully realized what it was God had done for me and what that meant for me.

This year I've just come of a lent fast that really challenged me as a person. I spent a lot of time in praying and a lot of time learning things about myself that I had managed to ignore. I come to this Easter still grateful for the Salvation I have through Christ's resurrection (I'll still tear up when I hear Amazing Grace). I feel blessed for the friends I've made since last year and for the places I am. This year at Easter I look forward to the things God is doing and going to be doing in my life, to the changes he's bringing, and I take this moment to thank him for his Love.

"The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures."

Isaiah 52:13- 53:12

"See, my servant will prosper; he will be highly exalted. But many were amazed when they saw him.His face was so disfigured he seemed hardly human, and from his appearance, one would scarcely know he was a man. And he will startle many nations. Kings will stand speechless in his presence. For they will see what they had not been told; they will understand what they had not heard about. Who has believed our message? To whom has the Lord revealed his powerful arm? My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot, like a root in dry ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all. He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. Unjustly condemned, he was led away. No one cared that he died without descendants, that his life was cut short in midstream. But he was struck down for the rebellion of my people. He had done no wrong and had never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man’s grave. But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants. He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands. When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of his experience, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels."

This video blew me away.

I won't say I've been sick the last 2 days but I certainly don't feel right. Something is off. That's about as good an explanation as I can give.

I've been writing a lot since I've gotten back from Florida. It's a good release and even if I'm writing utter crap at least I'm writing.

And now to the point of this blog. I'm a big fan of people being creative and it doesn't really get more creative then this. This is a video of DJ Ramsey using tape decks.

I'm back from Disney

I meant to post last night but getting to bed was more important then speaking mainly nonsense. My trip to Florida was exciting. I've come to the conclusion that the idea of going to Disney is more exciting then being at Disney. Maybe I need an older, less family crowd to go with for it to be as exciting as the idea of going. But that did not upset my trip (well, not for long anyway). It was, for the most part, relaxing. It took going to Disney to meet someone at church (it's weird when you recognize someone you've never actually meet and they happen to live near you and go to you church). I met and talked to Emery at the Magic Kingdom (again a random experience). I read a book on the trip down and a book on the trip back. I felt accomplished. All in all it was a good vacation (except the sunburn on my ears).

A Simple Idea

I have a handful of friends that I could talk to for days on end without ceasing, on any topic and enjoy every moment of it. It's not that I forget about these people because I notice it when I haven't talked to them in a while. But man... when you get to talk to them again and it's like no time has passed and you're talking for hours about nothing important at all and deep meaningful real life things. It's awesome. This is how I like to think of God.

Every New Day

So I'm not very intentional in my writing and there are a couple reasons for this. Most importantly is it's fun. As soon as I start trying to write intentionally I think all the joy will be taken out of it. So I go through periods of where I write all the time and I go through periods where I write constantly. But I've been thinking a lot lately and I feel like I have a lot to say but it to words isn't always easy for me. Which is the second reason I don't write intentionally. I don't like to force myself to form thoughts and I don't like spending a lot of time thinking about things. I like to write and put it out there. With that in mind... here we go.

I had a thought last night. Not so much a new thought, just a refigured thought.

I'm in the midst of a 40 day fast for lent.I'm three weeks in and I must say it's been a great experience and it's been something of a living hell. The idea of giving something up to spend more time with God has been great. I think over the long hall this fast will be very beneficial to my life. The hard part is for it to be beneficial is that in the process of this fast I feel like I'm being refined and redefined by fire. The first day of fasting I asked God for wisdom and guidance. What I didn't expect was that the wisdom and guidance would be about my character and who I am. Deep personal issues that have been around for years, that I've known about, but mostly ignored because... well they've been there for years. A month ago I scribbled on a piece of paper a statement that rang very true last night.

"There's a state of mind I need to leave, but the blankets warm and it fills a need."

That's where I am. In a place that's not good for me, but feels good. The problem with ingrained habits and thought patterns is because they've made a home it's not easy to just kick them out. To grow I know what I need to quit doing but the how isn't a clear cut answer. But I think an admittance is important and in the longer run I think my life will grow a lot more without these certain issues.

Now to that point (that was a long tangent). The thought that keeps coming back is it's ok to be radical. Which has me thinking... can one whom drinks, admits he's never going to have everything figured out, questions everything, swears when he gets mad, votes democrat, be a "radical" believer. And I think you can. I don't think we can't cross being perfect and being a follower of Christ. I know I've done some weird things for God but I think my life is pretty normal and I'm not a "weird Christian". And... I want to live with a passion to the things of God but I don't want to shelter myself and change who I am. I don't want to compromise my beliefs and convictions, even if they don't gel with other peoples.

Yup. There you have it.

Dread Champions Of The Last Days

So I was going to write a little piece on Freedom but my evening has been thrown off track so you'll have to wait at least a day for that. Instead I'll give you a random fact about myself.

BP is deathly afraid of snakes!

I've been listening to a lot of Sleeping Giant the past 2 days. Great band!

The Joy of Music

I bought Fugazi's "Instrument" on vinyl in November. Still sealed. Great pick up. (I actually bought the entire catalog on vinyl but this was the only on sealed). I finally opened it up and gave it a listen to. Great album anyway, but the first play of a record... awesome. Better then listening to the cd, better then listening to it on an ipod. Vinyl is still the way to listen to music.