The Bold and The Promised

I'm going to cram a lot of different thoughts into this blog, some I know I've blogged about before so... Get ready!

I started a 1 year Bible reading plan on the first of the year, and I'm excited about it! I've managed to do my reading every day and hopefully that continues. Although doing the reading on my smart phone which I get a daily reminder is helpful. (A smart phone which the beautiful soon-to-be Mrs Patton got me for Christmas. Thanks baby!)

There was a great story on NPR the other day about linguistics in babies and how we learn to speak. It was fascinating. One part of the story they talked about how even as babies learning to speak we have this connection with animals and our animal vocabulary is quite large when we're young. As parents, aunts, uncles, babysitters, we always say things like "look at the birdie" or "look at the squirrel." And, having just started going through Genesis, I couldn't help that this connection goes all the way back to the creation of the world and God charging man over the animals. Super interesting how this "unexplainable" mystery really probably goes back to how God created us and has linked us together. Just completely fascinating.

This, I know I've blogged about before, but it's worth noting again. In addition to doing a one year Bible reading plan, I also have set out to read more this year. Because I think I only read Love Does and The Hunger Games last year. That's just pathetic.

*I did read more than just those two books but I have a flair for the dramatic. 

So I started with The Circle Maker and thanks to being sick and not working, I finished it. Yay!

The idea of praying bold prayers isn't new but I'm not very god at it for long. I tend to be bold and then don't want to put too much pressure on God so I back off. But reading the story of Abraham and his requests before God concerning Sodom and Gomorrah, you can't help but love that boldness.

"Then Abraham approached him and said: “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare^[e] the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?” The Lord said, “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.” Then Abraham spoke up again: “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, ²⁸ what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city for lack of five people?”
“If I find forty-five there,” he said, “I will not destroy it.” Once again he spoke to him, “What if only forty are found there?”
He said, “For the sake of forty, I will not do it.” Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?”
He answered, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.” Abraham said, “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?”
He said, “For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it.” Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?”
He answered, “For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it.” ~ Genesis 18: 23-32

Abraham was no holds barred. And as he gets going going, his boldness increases. I feel challenged this morning to come boldly before the throne of God and present my requests and stick to my guns. Not back down and shy away and worry that I'm asking to much of God... Because I can't ask to much. Nothing is impossible for God. 

The other thing I've obviously struck by is God's faithfulness to that which he has promised and set apart. When you think about Abraham's story, even taking away the fact that the first dozen plus generations in the bible lived for a long long time, it's ridiculous to think about a man and woman in their 90's having a baby. It's crazy. But God makes a promise with Abraham that he will be the father of a nation and has crazy and ridiculous and absurd as it seems, God delivers. Because, as stated, nothing is impossible for God and he is always faithful!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." ~ Romans 8:28

2012: Adventure Is Out There

To be honest 2012 was probably the worst year of my life. Nothing excited happened and there's really nothing to share. I just hope 2013 is 110% percent better than 2012.

Or you know... The exact opposite of that.

2012 was pretty awesome. Best year yet? I think so.

It was a year full of adventures and firsts. Some hardships but mostly 2012 was full of joy and growth.

I think the most obvious and most awesome happening in 2012 was... I GOT ENGAGED!

I knew pretty on in 2012 that I was going to ask Amanda to marry me and in October, I did! Stoked about starting a new life with Amanda in 2013. She's been the most amazingly supportive woman I've ever known. It's been a tremendous blessing getting to do life with her this past year and getting to fall deeper and deeper in love with her!

Second best moment on 2012? This little guy being born!

How flipping cute is he!!!! That's my nephew Brody! He's so cute! I love this little guy!

2012 was full of lots of adventures and firsts as well.

Amanda and I did tons of stuff.

My beautiful wife-tobe surprised me when we went to Alabama in September with tickets to see the Braves at Turner Field!!!

One of my life goals was to see the Braves in Atlanta and my baby made that happen! And it was Chipper's final home game!!! And the Braves won!!! It was an absolutely amazing experience!

We also took a sailing lesson (and was pretty good at it, I think). My obsession with ships and sailing led to Amanda getting this lesson and it was so much fun!

We took a great trip to Boston in August. A weekend crammed full which included touring the Sam Adam's Brewery and Fenway Park!

And tons more. Honestly, if there was something to do in 2012, we probably did it. Or attempted to do it. Lots of wine tastings, 5K's, a trip to the beach, canoeing, Octoberfest and much, much more! We had a fun year together. A solid start to a lifetime together!

I got to do some cool stuff musically in 2012.

A co-wrote a song that was released this year and I played guitar on another track. I got to play drums on the National Mall in front of the Washington Monument and played on the ellipse in front of the White House!

I feel like my musical skills as a drummer, bassist, and guitarist were all greatly improved this year.

Honestly, I think more than anything else this year I just learned to love life and be myself. I relied a lot on God to come through and answer prayers. And he did. Not the way I wanted them answered always, but always on time. God's faithfulness was all around me. There were some tough moments where my faith and strength wavered... But he never did.

2012 was an amazing year and I'm stoked for 2013!!!

Love. True Love (An Engagement Story)

God is incredibly faithful and his timing is unmistakably perfect (although it doesn't always appear that way).

It was at NCC's Leadership retreat where I first said the prayer, "God, please provide a way for me to ask Amanda to marry me in October."

Even when I said it, I was shocked that those words came out of my mouth. A real Holy Spirit inspired prayer. And who am I to argue with the Holy Spirit? So I started praying that God would make a way for me to ask Amanda to marry me in October. I wrote in my journal and just kept praying. I knew a job would have to come first. Freelance is fun but something more stable would need to be in place before I asked this woman to marry me.

So I prayed... And prayed... And prayed some more... And prayed some more... And kept on praying and praying and praying, waiting for God to open the right doors and provide a way. But nothing stuck. There were lots of applications sent out. But not as many hits as I would've hoped. There were interviews... Lots of interviews but no one hired me. I was hopeful, frustrated, heartbroken, and still comforted knowing that God would make something happen. Plus, I had Amanda, who is without a doubt the most encouraging and amazing person I could've had by my side during this period of time.

All the while I started to put some things in motion. I knew that I wanted to make a scrapbook for the two of us of all the awesome things we were doing together, so I started collecting pictures Amanda would take and ticket stubs, drawings, any little thing that would make a great scrapbook. And then I had "The Idea."

If you know me, you know I am a little obsessed with Pixar. They make great movies. One of their finest is Up. Ellie's Adventure book would make a perfect scrapbook. So I Googled it. I wanted to buy the Up Adventure book for our scrapbook. And sure enough, you can buy one! So I bought one and started filling it.

About mid-September I knew we were starting to get into territory where it was going to be hard to ask Amanda to marry me in October like I'd been praying. But I knew I still wanted to marry her and if it took a little longer, so be it. So I called my friend Julie about a picture. The Adventure Book is awesome but it needed a little something extra. So I asked Julie to draw a picture of the Up house floating with the balloons and have it say "Will You Marry Me?" Julie was excited and went to work.

Side bar: Julie is amazing!!! She went above and beyond. She even Drew this picture, just because.

So we went to Alabama. And I knew after that week that I had to marry this woman and I had to ask her soon. So I took another step of faith and inquired about getting some money from a savings account so I could start looking for a ring.

The next day I got a text from my brother-in-law telling me I had a job. Not only was it just a job but it was a job in my field and something I could be passionate about and really make my own.

Are you kidding me? So now I had the idea of how to ask Amanda to marry me, the money for a ring, and a job!!!!!!

To be honest, I had given up on the idea that my prayer to ask her to marry me in October was going to be answered. But God's timing and mine are not the same and God decided that he would show up BIG TIME and make sure that prayer didn't go unanswered.

So Saturday night I took Amanda to dinner at Twisted Vines. Near the end of dinner, I told Amanda I had something that would work well with her Halloween costume. (Did I mean that SHE suggested we go as Carl and Ellie from Up for Halloween?!?!?!?!!! I seriously love her!!!!!) And I pulled out the Adventure Book. And when she turned the last page and saw the picture she just said "YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!" So I pulled the ring out of my pocket and got out of my seat when she instantly grabbed me and starting kissing me. After a minute, I was able to get down on my knee and ask her to marry me.

I am so incredibly blessed to have Amanda in my life and I couldn't be happier or more excited that she is going to be Mrs Patton!!! :D

But it would not have been possible if a) God hadn't blessed me with this incredible woman in the first place and b) if he wasn't faithful! God is good!!! Even when it seems like he's not listening. He still knows what's up!

It Must Be Rated R

I want to blog more and blog more about important stuff. But instead I'm updating on my journey through my playlist.

Currently listening to S.S. Bountyhounter's self-titled record. Just jumping into letter S.

Next Five Records:

Metallica - S&M
Denison Witmer - Safe Away
Sever Your Ties - Safety In The Sea
The Appleseed Cast - Sagarmatha
Damien Jurado  - Saint Bartlett

Walk On Water: Where Faith and Fear Intersect

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Matthew 14:22-33

I think we read things and hear stories so many times that they can lose meaning to us and we miss little things. Or we are so familiar with a story and it's concepts and life applications that we miss out on it affecting our lives and challenging us in our current season because we already know the outcome.

But I was hit with some principles this morning reading the story of Jesus walking on the water.

First is Jesus' relationship with God. Jesus has just performed a HUGE miracle feeding 5,000+ people with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread. So with the 12 leftover baskets of food Jesus sends the people on their way and sends his disciples sailing.

First off, how did the disciples think Jesus was going to get back to them?

Jesus - "Hey guys. Why don't you guys get a head start while I finish sending these people on there way. Go get the boat ready and start sailing for our next destination. I'll catch up with you guys later."

Don't you think someone would've said, "Hey Jesus, we only have one boat. How are you going to catch up with us?" Maybe it was faith, or maybe someone put up an argument that wasn't captured by the writer. We may never know.

But after that Jesus finds a secluded place for him to pray. I imagine Jesus was pretty tired. He spent the afternoon healing people and making a feast where there was no food. But Jesus still makes the time to spend with God.

So Jesus prays just about all night, giving the disciples a nice head start. The bible says they were a considerable distance from land. No big deal to Jesus. He just starts walking. And not speed running like Dash in the Incredibles (http://youtu.be/t5v2qBBD-gE). So it's gusty and the waves are going nuts and Jesus comes out of the dark nowhere, walking on the water and scares the living daylights out of the disciples.

I can kind of imagine that. I went sailing a couple months back and it rained the entire afternoon we sailed. The water was choppy and it made steering and see difficult. I imagine a really windy night is not what one would consider ideal sailing conditions.

So picture the scene: You and some friends are out sailing one night and the wind gets pretty rough. You're already a little on edge that the boat might tip or something bad is about to happen. The sun is starting to come up. That'll be helpful. But way off in the distance you see... A person walking towards you. You're not dumb. People DO NOT walk on water. So obviously your mind goes to something much more sinister. It must be a ghost. Full blown panic sets in and the commotion and distress probably has the boat rocking and tipping even worse.

I bet Jesus chuckled for a second. Walking towards the boat and seeing the panic grip the disciples and the boat start to really rock and tip. But He regains His composure and reassures the disciples.

“Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” (Verse 27).

It doesn't say panic stop. It says Peter issued a challenge. “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.”

Peter isn't waiting around to see if it's really Jesus. He's going to find out if it's really him.

Peter: Alright... If you really are Jesus, tell me to walk on water towards you and if I can, then I'll believe it.

And Jesus says go for it. "Come."

I like this interaction. It's faith in action. Peter isn't waiting for Jesus to come to him. He's willing step out trusting that it is Jesus and if he steps out on that boat he'll either walk or sink. If he walks, then it is Jesus and there's no reason to be afraid of what will happen. If he sinks... Well, he'll probably send that boat into an even bigger panic. The disciples don't really seem to be the type of people who might fight the guy walking on water, scaring them.

So Peter steps out... And he walks on water. The disciples' fear is put to ease that it is Jesus walking on the water and Peter is experience something no one else in human history gets to experience.

But then the saying. "Don't look down" comes into play. Peter is having an awe inspiring moment when he looks down. He takes his eyes off Jesus and starts taking in the world around him. And panic resets itself in Peter and he's goes sinking. He has this amazing experience, yet forfeits it's full reward by letting fear grab a hold of him.

Peter's issue is an issue that plagues me. Fear and the world around me, keep me from fully trusting God and have me forfeiting full blessings. Yes, Peter still got to walk on water and claim that. But his lack of faith and letting fear over take him cause him to miss out on the full reward.

Jesus' response could be the response to me on a million different things each and every day.

"Why did you doubt?"

The list of all the awesome things God has done for me is super long and grows with each and every breath. But I still doubt that God will come through at times. I did it yesterday and I'm sure I'll do it at some point today and fear will win the battle over faith and trust.

God has got this. And by this I mean everything. There's no need to fear and let fear rule us and let doubt overtake us where we are forfeiting the full rewards and blessing from God.

One last note.

After Jesus rescues Peter he get's on the boat, he calms the wind and eases all panic and threat. And that's when the disciples worship him and say "Truly you are the Son of God."

Not after the miracle of him feeding 5,000+ people with so little food. Not when Peter stepped out and walked on water. But after he had eliminated the threat and saved their lives.

Human nature hasn't changed. We worship God only after he has saved from the threat or disaster. Not on land after the miracle where we're still safe and sound. But on the boat, after the wind has died down and there's no more threat of harm.

Get Real

This past weekend I got to share my testimony with a group of junior high students. These are my notes for your enjoyment.  ~ BP

Going to church is easy. Right? It doesn’t make you a Christian. I know when I was in junior high and high school church was a place for me to hang out with my friends. But that didn’t make me a Christian.

To give you a little back-story, I grew up in the church. My parents were Christians and going to church every weekend was normal. When I was in kindergarten I gave my life to Christ. In fact, I gave my life to Jesus every day at recess for at least a week. I just wanted to make sure that I was going to heaven. Not going to hell was very important to 5 or 6 year old me. And while I don’t question the validity of my commitment at the time, 5 or 6 is a young age to take such a huge step and make a life commitment.

So life happens. We get older and our teenage years have us wanting to fit in and be cool and have lots of friends. I was not cool and didn’t have lots of friends. But I had some core friends who I would get into trouble with. But I still went to church. I loved church. I was home schooled, so church and youth group were the times when I got to see my friends and hang out with people. Sunday morning service, Sunday night bible study, and even Wednesday night youth group; I lived for church. I was more faithful about going to church than my parents were at the time in my life.

My problem was I lived for church and not for God. Like I said, church and youth group were a time for me to hang out with my friends. Bible study wasn’t always a time I got to hang out with my friends but there were pretty girls at bible study and it was a time for me to show off my debate skills. I knew the bible and I knew how I could use it to argue points brought up in bible study.

I had grown up in church. I knew what to say and how to look to act right. I would volunteer to pray over meals or for service. When it was time to worship, I would raise my hands and sing loudly. I was good at doing church.

The problem with being able to do church really well is I wasn’t doing a good job at following God. I wasn’t always very nice to my friends. I would use people, as it would benefit me. In being the bible study debate champion, I would say some hurtful things. And honestly, I wasn’t very happy. I was an over-weight, dorky, home schooled kid. I was into punk rock and heavy metal and just didn’t really fit in with my friends or the people I went to church with. I felt like an outcast.

The turning point came when I was 16. I was at a conference with my youth group, a couple months before heading out on a mission trip.

Let me preface my next statement. People say all the time that God told them this or they heard from God that. And I don’t discredit or disbelieve any of that as being true. And so when I say God spoke to me, there are only 2 moments in my life where without a shadow of a doubt, God spoke to me. It was a little more than an impression. It wasn’t an audible voice but it was without a doubt God speaking to me. And this is the first instance.

We were sitting in this conference and the worship band was playing the last night. I don’t remember anything else about this conference or even this session except that during worship I heard God say to me “Are you going to be real with me or keep faking? Because if you’re going to keep faking you might as well quit all together.”

In Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller tells a story of when he decided to stop believing in God. Miller said, every night he would go on a walk and tell God all the reasons why he couldn’t believe in him anymore. And one night he heard God say, “If you don’t believe in my, how come you keep talking to me.”*

*Note: I'm not entirely sure why I included this little piece in my message. I'm sure there was a point but I didn't really tie it to anything. 

I knew at that moment that I had been giving God lip service and not actually following him.  I cried. I apologized for all the people I had wronged but more importantly, I had to ask God’s forgiveness for being such a bad representation of who God is. I don’t think the weight of my half-hearted commitment sunk in until I was on the mission trip. I was having a conversation with one of my best friends at the time and he said, “Bryan, you’ve always been someone I looked up in church. You gave me the courage to raise my hands in worship and pray and be outspoken about my faith. I want to thank you for being a great example of what it means to follow God.”

Guys, I was crushed. It broke my heart. I had had such a huge impact in someone’s life, who I didn’t know was paying that much attention or looking up to me as leader, and I was faking it!!! It killed me. Think about how much greater an impact I could’ve had if I wasn’t so busy trying to act cool or get my way but instead just actually served God.

In Matthew 23 verse 25-27 it says:

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.”

I love coffee. I drink coffee and tea a couple times a day. Have you ever poured your coffee or milk or soda into a cup with checking the inside of the cup? This happens to me more often then it should. I will wake up, stumble to the coffee pot, grab a cup and pour my coffee. And I drink. Every once in a while I will get to the bottom of my cup and as I am drinking the last sips of my coffee I see the bottom of the coffee cup… And it’s filthy. All sorts of brown caked on awfulness. Whatever it is, I don’t want to have just drank it. But it’s too late that point right? I thought my cup was clean but it was just filthy on the inside. That’s what Jesus is saying here! He’s saying make sure the inside is clean. Jesus had a problem with the Pharisees doing church and Jesus had a problem with me doing church. God doesn’t want us to go to church and look like we belong at church and do all the right things and spout the right words. God wants our hearts and our love and affection and time and talents.

And it doesn’t matter what’ve done or what we might be doing. Romans 5:8 says that God loves us so much that even though we are sinners and even though we were not or are not following God, He still sent his Son, Jesus Christ to die for us. That’s great news. Because I didn’t need to get right first and I’m not able to do enough that God will stop loving me and go back in time and make Jesus not die me. 

What I do know is God loves you. And at the core of the bible, God just wants you to love him back. Life isn’t perfect when you follow God. I still have rough days and disappointments. Life doesn’t always seem to go the way I planned or dreamed. But I know God works all things for the God of those who love him as they have been called according to his plans and purposes. Life isn't perfect, but life following God has been worth it.

What IF?

What if I spent an hour a day face down before God?

That was the question going into Lent and it was how I was going to challenge myself over 40 days.

While denying our flesh is part of the purpose of fasting, it's very easy for me to give things up for a season. Food, internet, alcohol, coffee, TV, you name it and I could go for a season without. But the point of fasting isn't for me to give something up, and while I did give something up for Lent, I also wanted to issue a challenge; To set aside a designated period of time each day to step away from everything and spend time with God.

It was a completely focused time of prayer. I had outlined 4 specific short-term and long-term goals I wanted to be praying for every day. I had people and situations I wanted to be praying for every day. I had some great conversations leading up to Lent, which helped me to define some short and long term goals better, so I could be more specific in prayer.

It wasn't easy. The first 2 weeks were extremely strong and great. I don't know if I've ever had consistent prayer time that was so focused and determined, so rich and passionate. But it didn't last. I became tired and weary of praying the same things over and over again. I would be tired one day or unmotivated or too hungry. But I kept at it. And the final week I had this thought while running: Finish Strong. And I was determined to finish Lent strong and pray harder.

I had two passages in the Bible that I prayed every day.

The first was 1 Kings 18:36-39

"At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: “LORD, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me, LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again.” Then the fire of the LORD fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench. When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, “The LORD—he is God! The LORD—he is God!”

Elijah called down fire from Heaven three times. The first day of Lent I prayed, "God I want a faith that can call down fire from Heaven and bring YOU glory."

The prayer isn't about wanting to call down fire. The prayer is about having a deep faith that God is bigger than I can ask or imagine and I want a faith where I believe what I pray. That if I present my requests before God, I want to believe that if I'm praying in accordance with His will that He's going to come through. People in the bible did incredible things and I need a deeper faith if I want to see what happened in the bible happen in my life for the glory of God. Because it's not about me.

I must decrease so He can increase. I want to be filled up so I can pour out. I wanted to be blessed so I can be a blessing to those around me. And if I'm not going to use God's blessings to bless others, than I don't want to be bless.

My other scripture for Lent was Romans 8:28.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

This has been my new life motto. There were some amazing great things that happened over the last 40 days but it's also been filled with disappointment and moments where it felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

But honestly, most of the disappointments weren't disappointments. They were prayers answered. If you pray for God's will in your life and for him to close doors you're not supposed to walk through, you better be prepared for him to answer with closed doors from time to time.

And what seemed like divine appointments and God moving in one direction, only to have those doors close turned into great moments where I was able to thank God for answering my prayer and not letting me go where he didn't want me to. Plus, it was those moments where I could see other divine appointments that weren't as in my face where God moved and used someone to speak into my life and help me.

I'm not trying to spin bad things. Yes, closed doors sucked. But knowing that I prayed for open or closed doors, and knowing that God works all things for the good of those who love him, and spending every day on my face in prayer, you begin to connect the dots and put the puzzle together piece by piece. God has a much larger plan than I can see and getting glimpses of the puzzle as it's put together is God enough for me and God gets the glory and praise for moving and doing great things in my life.

I've seen prayers answered and I have prayers I need to continue to pray.

What IF I spend an hour a day face down before God? Life changes.